One day I was praying & I told Him straight
up, “God, if this is really what you want me to pursue you said that you would
make provision.” It had been a year since I graduated from college, &
summer seemed as though it was going to be another dry period of inconsistent
income. Therefore, allowing for no financial planning or independence. I had a
bachelor’s degree in Dance & still had not found my “dream dance job”. I’d
just finished my second semester working a part-time job at an afterschool
program, which paid me way less than the job was worth. I loved the kids so I
didn’t let the pay discourage me. I knew that the chances were slim to none
that I’d return there.
Before that job, I felt as though I was doing
nothing. Semi-rehearsing with a dance company that couldn’t afford to pay me
anything, and most days were spent at home or out spending money I didn’t have
on lunch & shopping trips with my working friends. I began to feel
depressed because I thought that I didn’t have anything going for myself. Many
of my friends I had graduated with were at full-time 9-5s, or grad school, or
touring around the world as professional dancers. Lack of self-confidence, lack
of trust in God & operating in fear is what led me to feel desperate for
work.
This desperation led me to make rash decisions that
really didn’t require any faith or consultation from God. Thankfully, I was
placed in positions such as the afterschool program & the dance company where
I was blessed although I strongly believe that I was not led to those places
after getting guidance from God. Those jobs were results of decisions I had
made because I believed my self-worth was equivalent to my post-grad success.
Many people thought that pursing a career in dance did not seem promising and I
had strong desire to prove them wrong.
But I was still unsatisfied. I was not fully
invested in the pursuit of my God-given purpose. Keeping my job as an
afterschool tutor would not allow for me to fully invest myself, so I made the
decision to quit. Here I am, back to square one doing a bunch of work for free.
But God said, “Where I send you there will be provision.” Okay God, show me
what you got.
First, while I was on vacation in St. Croix I
received an email from a college professor of mine offering me a dance job.
Guaranteed pay of $150 – fundraising is still going on & our goal is to be
paid $500 (to date we have raised enough for a guaranteed $450). That’s more
than I’d make in a month as a tutor. Second, while ministering at a charity
event, a up & coming musical artist asked if my best friend & I would
like to be (paid) background dancers for her upcoming shows. In recent weeks, I
have also been offered several other (well-paid) positions in areas that I am
gifted in and have authority to operate in successfully.
So already, God is showing me that as I avidly pursue
my purpose He shall supply ALL my needs. Another thing to note about these jobs
is that I did not go looking after them – these people sought out after me.
Which brings me to my next point …
When Jesus was doing His father’s business people
came knocking at his door & tearing the roof off of his house. When you do
what you are called to do, people will request it from you!
So now I am done making my own decisions. I’m
done pursuing money & jobs that are going to distract & deter me from
God’s true plan for my life. I’m going after the kingdom.
“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live
righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” -Matthew 6:33 (New
Living Translation)
No comments:
Post a Comment